


come home, ben

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Force Bond, Post-TLJ, Reylo Fanfiction Anthology, angsty, hopeful end, pre-tros, probably?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22611619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He looked at their hands, watched as Rey intertwined their fingers together, and fought the back the shutter from the contact.“ Rey…” He whispered.She brought her hand to his face – calloused tips brushing against his scar – observing his face, every detail of it, the bags and dark circles under his eyes, the paleness of his skin, his dry lips, the lack of light behind his eyes.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28
Collections: For one is both and both are one in love: The Reylo Fanfiction Anthology's Valentine's Day Exchange





	come home, ben

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ofserien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofserien/gifts).



> For hxllosweetie33

The bond was a curse. Every waking moment of her day, every sleeping moment of her night, Rey dreaded the bond that she believed the Force had cursed her with. She had considered going to General Leia Organa about it – admit to her that she was connected, by some unexplainable way, to her own son via the Force in ways so intimate it scared and confused her – but how could she admit to that secret? There was no way that Rey could admit that she was a living, breathing vulnerability to the Resistance. They were still licking their wounds from the Battle of Crait, after all.

Still mourning the loss of friends, family, and lovers.

Still waiting for the response from their distress call to the galaxy.

It was quiet since Crait. Even though Rey feared the connection she had shared with the newly anointed Supreme Leader of the First Order, the bond had remained silent. The Force did not connect them and Rey had wondered if Snoke was right – that the bond was something he had done and that it ceased to exist upon the old, bitter dark side user’s death. But there was something deep within her mind, like a string being tugged, that kept her on edge and reminded her that the old man was lying. The bond was real, it existed, and it was only a matter of time before the string would pull the door open and link them again.

****

Kylo Ren doubted that his former master, Snoke, had bridged their minds. The man was powerful in the Force, but he knew that there were limits to his power. What had happened between him and the scavenger was more than dark magic; it was the Force at work. He could not understand why it the Force bridged their minds – why it wanted them to come together rather than tear each other apart.

He had more questions than answers and there was no one that he could turn to ask. The Sith arts were lost, the Jedi were dead, and all he had left was the mishmash of knowledge from both his uncle Luke Skywalker and Snoke. Neither could explain how or why it happened, or why it still was happening.

The scavenger was talented, even powerful, but untrained. It was taking him all of his might to keep the bond close – to force her out of his mind. She was a constant within, like a shallow beat against his conscious, waiting to burst open and flood his mind and body with her violent and loud emotions. For someone with such a bright light, the scavenger seemed to be more conflicted than he was.

As he looked the mirror, his face scarred by the blade of his grandfather with the hands of that scavenger, he brought his fingers to it, tracing the thin jagged marking from his brow, over his check, and down his neck. He could see the anger in her eyes as she stalked him in the snow of Starkiller Base, but when he touched the scar, he could also _feel_ the anger.

She wanted to kill him then.

Now? He did not know.

Ren debated opening the bond. He was curious to know if she still had that hate for him. She did still harbor the disappointment as she did when the doors closed on the Millennium Falcon or had she still harbored the hope they both shared when their fingers touched through the Force? All it would take was him to let go and release the barriers he had put in place to keep her out. Ren would need to give into the Force and give in to his own fear of the scavenger and those hazel eyes full of disappointment and hurt.

He gripped the edge of the sink as he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

****

The string within Rey’s mind pulled and everything went quiet. Rey shot up in her bed, eyes wide as she looked across the darkness of the Millennium Falcon and to the person facing away from her. She could no longer hear the soft rumble of the freighter’s engines or the beeping of the ship’s systems. She could only hear herself breathing –-

\-- and him.

Immediately, Rey searched for the blaster, the one that Han had given her, and her fingers only came in contact with the rough sheets of the captain’s bunk. She was unarmed and _he_ was there. She felt vulnerable. She did not know what either of them was capable within the constraints of the bond their shared. 

“ Kylo.” Rey said. She pulled the sheets closer to her body, shifted further within the bunk. He did not move, except for his head looking up as he faced the wall, but guessing from the way his head tilted, he was looking at a mirror, her reflection, from his end of the bond.

“ Scavanger.” Ren said after a moment. He turned around and looked down at Rey. He noticed the way she protected herself with the blankets, the way she went further into the bunk as if the durasteel walls could consume her and hide her from the monster that he was.

****

He couldn’t feel hate. He didn’t feel fear. He felt something stronger at that moment.

Disappointment. Uncertainty.

She was disappointed in him. She was frustrated that he was there reminding her of the failure from Crait. 

Their failure.

“ Where are you?” He asked. Guessing by the way she appeared in his quarters, she was asleep somewhere – judging by the tank top and way her hair was pulled up in a loose top knot, it wasn’t anywhere cold. A thin layer of sweat clung to her tanned skin. Wherever she was, it was hot and humid, and his mind tried to think of the possible planets that she could be on. Perhaps he could have ordered a reconnaissance fleet to find her -- and the rebel and traitor friends she insisted on surrounding herself with.

Her eyes narrowed. “ I’m not telling you anything.”

“ You’re still angry at me.”

“ You tried to kill me. My friends.” Rey pulled the blankets further over her shoulders. “ You are nothing but a monster.”

He had heard those words before, once. He did not think to hear them again would hurt as much as it did, but the drop his stomach did at those words made him suck in a breath.

“ Yes,” he exhaled. “ I am still that monster.”

****

He did not look like a monster to her at that moment. He stood before her in a loose black shirt and sleeping pants. His hair long and soft around his face. His face sporting the beginnings of a mustache and beard. It had been several months since Crait, and yet he looked less like the angry boy aboard the star destroyer and more like a broken, pathetic man. Rey lowered the blankets slightly.

“ I thought your master created this bond,” she said after a moment of silence. “ How is this happening.”

It wasn’t a question. She knew the answer. He knew it, too. But it made it easier to deal with by denying the truth.

“ I’ve been blocking the bond since Crait,” Ren said as he took two steps forward. He was testing her – seeing how she would react. Rey did not move and he took another few steps until there was nothing more than inches between them, “ I finally let the bond connect us. I’m sure you felt it.”

Rey looked away, almost ashamed of admitting to the truth, “ The bond never died.”

“ And yet you aren’t repulsed by the idea of it existing.”

“ Neither are you,” Rey snapped back, eyes meeting his. “ You enjoy this. You _missed_ this.”

“ Don’t assume things, Rey.”

She was right but he would not give her the benefit of admitting this to her. He took another step forward and suddenly he was transported from his quarters to wherever she was at. He could no longer smell the stale air of his ship, instead, he could smell the wet air of Ajan Kloss, the lingering scent of food that had been cooked aboard the Falcon’s kitchen. He could see the bunk, his _parents'_ bunk, now occupied by the scavenger. If he closed his eyes, he could see himself, young and naïve, hiding in the closet next to it as he and his father played a game of hide and seek.

He let out a shallow, shaky breath.

Of course, she would be aboard that ship.

“ Ben.”

He opened his eyes.

****

Rey felt it. The man she had remembered meeting in the hut on Ahch-To. That broken, scarred man with so much light and hope that she put the entire fate of the galaxy on his shoulders. She felt _Ben_ and she couldn’t stop her heart from swelling or the warmth from rising on her cheeks. That feeling of hope flooded throughout her mind and body. He was still there, beneath the shadow that was Kylo Ren. Ben still existed.

There was still hope that he would come back to her.

She dropped her defenses, let her arms fall down to her lap.

“ Ben,” she said again, “ Why are you doing this?”

He looked at her but he didn’t move. He hesitated, uncertain, and Rey reached out with her hand and took his much larger one into her own. The feeling of skin against skin was like an electric shock. She could feel his emotions and thoughts as if they were becoming one at that moment. This was not Kylo Ren, no, he would hide with leather gloves and thick layers of black. The man who held her hand, exposed and free, was Ben Solo -- the man she had fallen in love with. The man she wanted to be with. The man who appeared in her vision on Ahch-To, bright and confident at her side.

It was enough to slowly guide him to sit on the mattress, enough that she closed her eyes and allowed his light to consume her. It was such a bright light; she could not understand why he was so determined to snuff it out.

He looked at their hands, watched as Rey intertwined their fingers together, and fought the back the shutter from the contact.

“ Rey…” He whispered.

She brought her hand to his face – calloused tips brushing against his scar – observing his face, every detail of it, the bags and dark circles under his eyes, the paleness of his skin, his dry lips, the lack of light behind his eyes.

When they fought together, he was so alive. This man before her was dying.

“ You should come home, Ben,” Rey whispered. Her uncertainty fading away, yet her disappointment still remained. “ She’s been waiting for you.”

He reached for her hand and pulled it away from his face. He was so gentle, not much unlike the moment on Ahch-To, her heart swelled, and she shivered. She could feel the affection through the bond. His unspoken love for her. 

“ Rey, you know,” he licked his lips. “ You know the answer.”

A love that he was too timid, uncertain, and afraid to let go and give in.

“ Don’t do this. The Force… the Force is doing this for a reason. It wants us to be together.”

****

Ben hesitantly brushed his fingers against her face, brushing back some of her loose strands of hair back.

It felt… right. Being with her, like this, aboard this ship. Something felt whole. The Force felt different – as if it was singing, humming brightly as he allowed himself to give in to his light and to allow her light to guide him there.

He leaned forward, slowly closing the distance between them, as he closed his eyes. He pressed his lips against hers.

It was soft. It was uncertain.

“ One day,” Ben whispered as he pulled away, “ We will be together. My home, _our home_ , is with me. And one day, you will take my hand.”

“ Ben, you know I –”

The bond snapped shut.

Ben blinked as his eyes readjusted to the brightness of his quarters.

He glanced at his grandfather’s helmet that sat upon a pedestal in the center of his room. He slowly got up from the floor and walked over to it. Within his soul, the balance between light and darkness swirled violently within. Ben Solo wanted to live, but Kylo Ren violently fought its way back, asserting dominance as he reached for his grandfather’s mask and put his hands against it.

He let himself give into the darkness. Allowed himself to feed off of the twisted visions.

Visions of Rey by his side, draped in black, a violent red lightsaber in her hand. Visions of a galaxy finally united in order, kowtowing to its new rulers. Visions of finishing what his grandfather had started; of sitting a throne on a dark planet consumed by storms and death as Emperor and Empress.

The scavenger would come to him there. She would take his hand. She would be his.

Kylo Ren decided that he’d leave the bond open – eventually she’ll answer his call.

It was their destiny.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my contribution to the Reylo Fanfiction Anthology Valentine's Day Exchange :) 
> 
> My prompt was such - i really like when characters talk about their feelings instead of shoving them aside. i also love it when ben and rey banter - but make up! i also enjoy angst, but it’s really important to me that there’s a happy ending. action and conflict is a favorite too!
> 
> This quite isn't exactly fluffy or fun banter, but I did tried to hone in on Reylo talking about their feelings. Since this is canon-compliant, I did not want to just have them fall in love immediately here, but I definitely wanted them to physically acknowledge their attraction while pleading with one another. Rey wants him to come home to her and Leia, while Ben feels as if his destiny is elsewhere as Kylo Ren with Rey at his side.
> 
> I hope hxllosweetie33 likes this and is not disappointed. Sorry its angsty!


End file.
